Do you know the 5 reasons why marriage terrifies black men?
I do…
Statistics show nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
That’s enough to frighten anyone…
Isn’t it?
Which gives us our 1st reason why marriage terrifies black men.
Reason #1 (Significantly high divorce rate)
But that’s not the deal breaker…
What frightens us most will shock you…
But before we get into it, let’s take a look at a couple of the more obvious reasons.
You ready?
Ok.. Good!
What Terrifies Black Men About Marriage
Marriage has all but lost its purpose and meaning.
Which gives us reason #2.
Reason #2 (The institution of marriage has lost its significance)
That’s an astounding statement.
Nevertheless, it’s true!
It’s common to see people get in just as quickly as they get out of a marriage nowadays.
What’s even more disheartening is people no longer honor their marital vows.
What sane person wouldn’t be terrified to utter the words, “I do”?
It’s a shame how this once sacred institution has been reduced to such an inconsequential practice.
But that alone is not frightening enough to stop black men from jumping the broom.
You’re about to discover what terrifies him more than that.
You locked in?
Good!
Why Marriage Frightens Black Men
Unfortunately, the institution of marriage has lost the value it once had.
But marriage in itself, doesn’t frighten black men.
What frightens us more than anything is not the idea of marriage, it’s the possibility of divorce.
Divorce means failure, and failure for a black man is sadly, what’s expected.
Reason #3 (Afraid to fail)
Nobody wants to fail at anything!
Especially not in marriage…
Marriage is one of the most important decisions of a lifetime.
It’s frightening to think about failing at it.
The sad part about it is…. I did…
Failure is a personal thing.
It’s something every black man wants to avoid, especially when it comes to making such an important life decision.
The effects can be devastating!
Let’s see how…
The Trouble With Black Men And Marriage
I knew my marriage was in trouble, but I didn’t know how far gone it was, until it was too late.
Most people go into a marriage thinking it’s going to be smooth sailing all the way through.
But despite being in love with one another, things can and often do go wrong.
If you have two people who have two different ideas or opinions about what marriage is or is supposed to be, you can expect chaos.
The sad part is a marriage can end just as quickly as it begins.
This should frighten not only black men, but all men in general.
Let’s go deeper..
You ready?
Good!
The History Of Black Men And Marriage
To understand the black man’s psyche you have to go back, way back, to a time deeply rooted in American history.
“Do you take this woman to be your spouse – until death or distance do you part?
Did the word “distance” catch your attention?
“Distance” was intentionally inserted into the marriage vows of enslaved couples for good reason.
Enslaved men understood the risk of being permanently separated from his wife.
At the masters whim a slave could be auctioned off and shipped away at a moments notice with complete disregard for marital status.
Enslaved women were also brazenly violated and forced to sleep with their masters whenever called upon.
Can you imagine the psychological trauma for a man who has to wait until another man finishes with his wife?
Demoralizing…
But how does that relate to our situation today?
Let’s see…
Why Black Men Fear Marriage
We’re not living under those extreme circumstances anymore, but the lingering effects of this kind of atrocity can certainly be seen throughout black America today.
The socio-economic plight of black families can be traced back to this awful time in American history.
After years of pain staking labor of slavery, black men were left with the empty promise of forty acres and a mule.
To this day, they are still waiting to get it.
After being forced into a submissive state as a means to survive without the help of the resources promised, black men are faced with the inalienable choice to either sink or swim.
Which brings us to the next reason why black men fear marriage.
Reason #4 (The Trust Issue)
How could he trust anyone?
Finding people we can trust is no easy task, not to mention the trust you have to have in the person you will potentially spend the rest of your life with.
With all of the issues we’ve discussed coupled with the trust issue, black men have legitimate reasons to be terrified of marriage.
But we’re about to reveal what black men fear most about marriage.
You ready?
Ok.. here we go!
Why Marriage Terrifies Black Men
The media has long portrayed the black man as a womanizing figure.
How often have you seen black men playing the role of a pimp or a playboy on tv series or in the movies?
It’s not often you will see black men portrayed as loving husbands or responsible family men.
I guess dating a vast array of beautiful women is every mans dream, but who can maintain all of the upkeep that go along with it?
Maybe in our younger years we could manage the challenge of it all, but not for long.
Sooner or later we start looking to settle down with just one woman.
But herein lies the challenge…
The truth is… we panic when we think about being locked down.
That’s the forever image stuck in our mind when we think about marriage.
Shackled!
Needing permission to do things we had so freely been able to do without anyone’s permission or consent.
Reason No.#5 (Loss Of Freedom)
The last thing in the world we want to do is lose our freedom again.
Unfortunately, a lot of black men view marriage in this way.’
That’s what terrifies us most!